Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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