I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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