Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
