My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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