Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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