in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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