found the other keg... it's in the tree
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
