I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
