she smelled like a LAN party
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
