My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
