He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
