kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
