how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
