So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
