Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
