you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
