i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize