Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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