i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
