I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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