We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
