Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize