Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
