Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
