Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
