The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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