Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
