No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
