I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
