you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
