were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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