You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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