Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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