And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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