good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
