hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
