Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize