Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
