The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize