just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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