Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
