Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
