He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
