He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
