That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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