we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
