I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
