Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
