I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
