if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
