She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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