So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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