then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize