I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
