thus making me awesome and them whores
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
