I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
