Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
