I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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