It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
