I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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