Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
