Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This is the high leading the old right now
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Randomize
