You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
