...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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