I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
40s are totally the cure
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
