I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Be still, my beating vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
