Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
