blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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