the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
