Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
