Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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