I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
