Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
