dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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