dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
