he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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